Your Brain on Work: Why Rest Can Feel Harder Than Work
Ever wonder why stepping away from work can feel uncomfortable, even when you really want the break? There’s a reason your brain doesn’t always want to switch off.
All your meetings are canceled. Your coverage plan is in place and you finally switch on your out of office.
That long-awaited time off is finally here!
You’re exhausted and can’t wait to just relax.
But then the time comes, and for some reason, you feel strangely uncomfortable.
You might find yourself thinking about what you're missing, wondering whether you should be doing something more productive, or feeling an almost irresistible urge to check in.
It can be confusing.
If we're tired, shouldn't we want to rest?
Well, here’s why...
What’s happening in your brain?
Your brain is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
And interestingly, work can sometimes satisfy all three.
Work is familiar. You know what you're supposed to do, what people expect from you, and what success looks like. Your brain doesn't have to spend much energy figuring it out.
Work can be rewarding. You solve something. Someone thanks you. You finish a project. You get a message that makes you feel important or valued. All very pleasurable to your brain.
And staying connected to work can help us avoid the discomfort of missing something important to us.
So even when you're exhausted, your brain can make a surprisingly compelling argument for not fully stepping away.
Why stepping away can feel uncomfortable
Rest requires a shift.
You shift from knowing what's happening to being okay with not knowing. From responding to waiting. From accomplishing to simply being.
And your brain doesn't necessarily love this at first.
Sometimes we aren't avoiding rest because we don't want it.
We're avoiding the feelings that come with stepping away.
Maybe it's guilt. Maybe it's FOMO. Maybe it's anxiety about what you'll come back to.
Or maybe you've spent so much time being productive that doing nothing starts to feel like you're doing something wrong.
There's another possibility, too.
For some of us, work has become part of how we understand ourselves.
We're competent at work. We're needed. We're accomplishing things. We know how to measure whether we're doing well.
Time off removes many of those markers.
And that can leave a surprising amount of empty space to question our value - beyond our job.
So what can we do about it?
The answer isn't to force ourselves to become better at relaxing.
It's to recognize that rest is a transition, not a switch.
The first day off doesn't have to feel magical.
You may need to give your brain some time to stop scanning for what needs to be done. To practice letting the email sit. To remind yourself that nothing bad is happening simply because you're not being productive.
And if you’re up for it, there's a deeper question worth asking:
What are you afraid will happen if you really step away?
The answer can tell you something important.
If it's I'll miss something, you may need better systems around information.
If it's I'll feel left out, maybe connection at work has become more important than you realized.
And if it's I don't know what to do with myself, maybe your brain has gotten very good at work - and a little rusty at rest. And that’s ok.
Your beautiful human brain is wired to seek what is familiar and avoid discomfort. So even when you need rest, it may try to convince you that checking your email will make you feel better.
But our brains needs rest, too. Sometimes we just have to give it a moment to remember how.
Your Brain on Work is a WorkSense™ publication exploring the psychology behind our everyday experiences at work - and using those insights to help work make sense.